Shadow's Persona
by Koyuki11
Summary: Ten years later, a shadow constantly followed Tsuna around. He does not remember when the shadow first appeared nor why it existed. After creating a scene with the shadow only he could see, he was dragged to his room by Chrome to sleep. However, the shadow appeared in his dream and was somehow connected with the murder of a stranger Chrome and Reborn claim he knew.


A/N: This was an abandoned one-shot from August 2012. I was reading "Frankenstein" by Mary Shelley for homework, and I had to get rid of the need to write in the way the book was written, which included being in first-person and filled with angst. I decided to complete this, and it's all thanks to a certain author. This is dedicated to Mockingjay Rose, and I congratulate her fanfic, Akutama no Hitman Reborn, on turning a year old!

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Shadow's Persona

Once or twice I looked back. Once or I twice I saw the same thing. It remained there, seemingly unmoving yet I saw through the corner of my eye a twitch of movement. Perhaps it was only my imagination? It would be very fortunate if I could convince myself so as denial is the mind's way of defense. However, it would not be me if I believed in what I classify as irresponsible. I did not enjoy believing in lies when the truth was present in front of me or, in this case, behind me.

With the swift movement of my feet, I turned to face the object of my discomfort while glaring at it with such ferocity I did not know could manifest in me. It had long halted in its movements from the moment I began to turn around. It stood stiff as if it was a deer in headlights yet something about it seemed to gather an air of mockery. This irritated me even further so I darkened my look only to receive a sense of accomplishment from the object or should I say a shadow. This shadow was like the one created from the light and my body, but the difference was that its shape did not change the closer it came to a light source, and it was standing before me. It was a creature I have never seen before, but I could not reject its presence.

I straightened my back in an attempt to make myself appear intimidating but that warranted the invisible smirk on the creature's face even though the figure was black. I closed my eyes to try to calm myself as being emotional has its disadvantages. When I opened my eyes, I saw the shadow taller as it also had straightened its back. It seemed smug with the same invisible smirk that threw my patience out the window.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I always do when agitated and clenched my fists with the nails piercing into my skin. I could stand it no longer. With my voice raised, an act I rarely do, I bellowed at the shadow with pure rage where each word came out crisp and clear in a threatening manner.

"Be gone creature! Stop your cowardice as I have already seen that you are not a statue! You are just a shadow that can disappear; a copy of the original that does not belong. So disappear from my sights permanently as you do not belong anywhere here!"

I panted slightly after the outburst full of my emotions. I saw that the shadow seemed delighted at the loosened hold of my temper. I began to loathe the shadow even more with my eyes piercing the creature in an attempt to murder it with my eyes alone.

Hurried footsteps echoed outside my room and soon the door slammed open in a moment of hurry. I paid no attention to the visitor as I tried to suffocate the shadow with the irritation channeling off of me. That smirk was to be the end of me if it did not disappear.

"Boss?" I heard the visitor say in confusion mixed with a bit of discomfort and perhaps fear. However, the discomfort and fear melted into worry as the person walked towards me. "Boss, are you fine? I heard you yelling, and now you have this look I have never seen you wear before."

The owner of the voice was about to head straight into the shadow if it was not for my voice. "Stop! You were about to walk into him. Who knows what would have happened to you if I did not intervene," I said before grabbing her wrists and leading her back to the door. She wore the look of confusion on her countenance again as I led her to the hallway outside my office. "Chrome, it is dangerous for you to be here. Let me handle him."

"What are you talking about? There was no one in the room except for you and I. Are you running a fever?" Chrome took her limb away from my hold and placed the back of her hand on my forehead. Her hand felt cold against my skin, and she winced slightly before removing it. "As I thought, you are sick. Boss, you should take more breaks from the paperwork. Being cooped up in the office is bad for your health. Let me walk you to your room. After that, I'll inform the cooks to make you something to eat."

I wanted to tear myself from her. What nonsense was she spouting? Clearly there was someone or something in that room. Why was I the only one who could see it? What made me special enough to see the shadow that was still following me? However, she had her hold on me, and if I were to struggle out of it, she would end up hurt both physically and emotionally.

Chrome had not moved, waiting for my answer in patience. I resigned myself to a nod which she smiled upon; the smile was slightly strained as I collapsed in her hold, suddenly too tired to stand without support. As I leaned against Chrome with her arm around me, I could sense the shadow was still lurking behind me. What did I do to gain this curse? What did I do to deserve this?

The hallways were empty except for us three. I vaguely recalled that most of my Guardians were sent on missions or had taken time to visit family. The servants were given holiday break although it had been tough at first to convince them as they saw fit to stay as they considered the Vongola as their family. A small smile wormed its way on my face at that memory, only to be forgotten as we stopped in front of the door to my room.

I attempted to stand so that Chrome would have an easier time of opening the door. She shook her head gently to say that I did not have to, but I still tried. She turned the golden knob and pushed the door open slowly to reveal a dark room.

She helped me inside and turned the light on since it was difficult to see where I was going. With the lights on, I could see the bed in the upper right corner of the room, away from the windows in case of any attempts of assassination. The bed had been made weeks ago, showing that no one had used it. Chrome gently shook her head again to lightly reprimand me. It had been weeks since I had last used the bed, but today would end that record from Chrome's persistence.

She slowly put me down to sit on the bed where I would take off my shoes and stiff suit jacket. She seemed hesitant to leave me, but I sent a smile to her in reassurance; I did not want to trouble her any longer. She nodded her head and smiled back, but her eyes did not smile. It held concern for my well-being, and I could not do anything to comfort her. At the time, I did not know that I would need the same comfort that I could not give her in a few minutes.

"Get some rest. When you wake up, the cooks will have some food and medicine for you. Don't stress yourself too much." She bade me farewell with a bow before switching the lights off. Before she left, I heard a whisper from her that was more of her thought than a sentence to me.

"It's not your fault."

I did not know what she meant by that, but I could not ask as she closed the door. I shook my head to clear my thoughts away; it was best not to worry Chrome too much and rest. It had been awhile since I had felt the soft comfort and warmth of the bed with the blanket covering protectively over me. Yet even this comfort was not enough to ignore the shadow that was still present in the dark.

Perhaps the shadow really is a figment of my imagination? Chrome did not see it, and I doubt she was lying. There was no reason for her to lie in the first place. However, I could sense the shadow hovering over me, watching as I try to sleep with my mind in distress.

Just ignore the creature, I tell myself. It cannot harm me as it is a shadow without a physical body. Let sleep consume my mind and put it at ease for the time being. Let me momentarily forget about the world I live in and the ever-present shadow. Let me relax into a world with no thought for the current problems of my life.

_I did not recognize where I was. It was darker than the night sky yet I could clearly see my hand in front of my face. I looked to the left and then the right. I saw nothing but the same darkness as what was in front of me._

_Suddenly, the familiar heat under my skin told me to turn around. I listened to my intuition and turned to see someone. That person seemed oddly familiar, but my mind could not produce a name. I took a step towards him, and he turned around to face me as if sensing my movement. His guarded look quickly turned into one of delight. He began to walk towards me with the smile of joy at seeing me._

_However, my eye caught a mysterious glint that should not be possible in this lighting. My mouth moved on its own to say a warning, but it was unheard as an even louder sound echoed throughout the area. My eyes widened upon seeing the body of the person fall to the side with a stream of blood pouring out from the sides of his head._

_I took off running to him without a care to my safety. I collapsed to my knees quickly and moved the body into my arms. I looked down onto the face where the previous smile was no longer present, instead replaced by a frown. His eyes lost its usual light with his caramel eyes glazing over yet it was still looking at me. It continued to stare at me with silent accusations. It said, "Why did you do that? Why weren't you the one to die? Why did you get me involved?"_

_I hugged him tightly to my chest without a care that I would get blood on my clothing. I still did not recall who this person was as my mind did not permit me to. Dark spots appeared on his clothing, and I realized that I was crying. The tears blurred my vision while others trailed down my cheeks. I buried my face into his light brown hair to hide my expression. I could still feel his accusing gaze._

_I heard footsteps coming closer. Reluctantly, I lifted my face to see the murderer. I glared with all the hatred I could muster at the murderer while my mind recognized the figure. It was the shadow that had previously followed me. I wanted to burst out in outrage, yelling at it for all the trouble and misfortune it caused. However, those words were stuck in my throat as sobs threatened to escape. I tightened my hold on the already dead boy as I tried to still my body._

_Slowly, the darkness disappeared from the shadow. Will its true form be revealed? I watched to see the darkness disappear from the face, finally showing the once invisible smirk. But what shocked me more was the face I was looking at was of myself. Every detail of the once shadow was of mine. The once shadow walked towards me while lifting his gun that had killed the boy. He waved it about mockingly and soon the color drained from my face as I came to a realization. It was me who killed the boy. I was the murderer._

Letting loose a scream, I thrashed about on my bed with my eyes shut tightly. I did not notice the bruises appearing on my arms nor the fact that my whole face was drenched. All I paid attention to was the immediate need to express my horror, guilt, and blame.

Why was I alive? My ears did not pick up the sound of my door being slammed open, causing the items on the shelf to rattle. Why couldn't I have saved him? My ears did not pick up the sound of two people yelling my name. Why didn't I choose to save him?

Because of all that, I am as responsible as the murderer. I, too, am his murderer.

_Slap!_ The reel of my mind stopped as sound finally processed in my mind. I could faintly hear my ragged breath in the quiet room with the clock ticking in the background.

I opened my eyes to see the same darkness where he died in my dream. My body racked and felt my breath stop as more tears dampen the pillow.

Suddenly, Chrome enveloped me into an embrace in an attempt to communicate her thoughts. Ah, it was warm unlike the corpse of that child. She smelled like vanilla, nothing like the metal scent dripping down his head.

I turned my attention away from Chrome so my eyes were now looking forward. Ah, it was that shadow again. My lips wobbled; was the curse placed upon me from my sin of murder? Then so be it. I deserved this eternal agony. I-

"Boss, it's not your fault. You are not responsible for his death." Chrome tightened the embrace yet I could not help but force all my strength to push her away.

"You're wrong, Chrome. I am fully responsible. I killed him." I channeled my energy to force myself to sit up. The shadow continued to watch me, and I could not bring myself to meet its invisible eyes. I closed my eyes and bowed my head when I felt the shadow move towards me.

"Dame-Tsuna, are you blind? Were you the one to pull the trigger at him? Were you the one who had to motive to kill him? Were you the one to plan out your son's death?" Reborn had punched my head lightly, but I did not feel the pain, only confusion at his words.

Son? What did Reborn mean? I was never a father. That boy was someone else's son; perhaps one of my subordinate's child but not mine.

_"Tsu-kun, our son has taken after your appearance."_ Whose voice was that? I lifted my head and met Reborn's gaze with my own confused one.

"Who are you talking about? That wasn't my-" The word became stuck in my throat as I tried to force it out. Instead, my hand flew to my mouth as I started to cough.

_"Tou-san! I know what I want to be when I grow up!"_

_"What do you want to be?"_

_"A giant robot!"_

_"Tsu-kun, wasn't that your dream too?"_

I tasted copper piling in my mouth, and I heard Chrome's frantic voice. I felt the shadow's presence approach me, but it suddenly stopped moving. I looked up with the crimson trailing down my hand to see that Reborn had blocked the shadow's path and was directly in front of me. His hands were placed on my shaking shoulders.

_"_Get a hold of yourself. You've been isolating yourself in your office, working yourself to death with paperwork for a month after your son was assassinated." I shook my head; that cannot be true. That wasn't my son.

_"Tsuna-kun! He's missing! Our son is missing!"_

_"I'll go and find him. Stay here."_

"You've tried to distract yourself from remembering the incident, but everything reminded you of it. Then you began to lie to yourself about what happened," Reborn said with his grip tightening. I shook my head once more. Reborn must be lying. I never had a son.

_"It's already too late. You can't save your son."_

_"Don't you dare do anything! I'll make you regret it!"_

"You began to trick yourself into thinking that you never had a son, that the person who died was another boy," Reborn shook my shoulders as I tasted the tears. Ah, it tasted like salt and copper again.

_"Let me go! Tou-san! Tou-san!"_

_"Release him already!"_

_"Say your last goodbye, brat."_

_"Tou-san!"_

"No!" I yanked Reborn's hands off my shoulders, but he caught my wrists. Go away already. Leave me alone. I don't want to remember. Why can't you see that?

"Open your eyes! You are not the least bit responsible. You could not have done anything else in that situation!" You're so noisy. Why can't you shut up?

"I... I..." The shadow took a step back, and my eyes became attracted to its form. It was better than having to face Reborn at the moment. I looked at the spiky hair, and it was of my own but it brought back memories.

_"Tsu-kun, our son has taken after your appearance."_

The shadow began to shrink until it became a very familiar size. The hair began to flatten down into a neater pile. I wanted to reach out, but my hands were stuck in Reborn's grasp. Slowly, the darkness disappeared from the shadow and once again, a familiar sight met my eyes. It was him. My... son.

He headed towards me, and I tried to rip my hands away from Reborn's grasp. I just wanted to embrace my son one last time. Why couldn't Reborn allow me that one wish?

"Tou-san." My eyes focused solely on his form, his caramel eyes glistening in the room. "I don't blame Tou-san at all because it's not your fault. So don't be hard on yourself, okay?"

He walked closer towards me, and I felt my limbs violently shake. He embraced me with warmth, nothing like the unbearable cold I felt before in the dream. I could feel his tears dampen my shirt, but I knew no dark spots would appear.

My vision blurred as I released more tears. My head leaned forward and gently hit what was in front of me. I barely noticed that Reborn released his grip on my wrists and that Chrome placed her hand comfortingly on my shoulder.

"I-I just miss him so much..."

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A/N: This week is R&R Mockingjay Rose's fanfictions! So go to her profile and R&R!


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